Fly Away!

Just a few thoughts. Either you know just what I am talking about or you will all too soon...

Did you ever have a bird's nest in the backyard that you watched daily? We have a high deck and birds love to build nests in protected areas underneath it. Last year, as I was gardening near the deck, the parent birds would swoop over me, trying to distract my attention from their home. They were succeeding in a way because they were driving me insane. Once the baby birds hatched, they seemed to spend all their time sitting there in their nakedness with their mouths constantly open, waiting to be fed. Ring any bells?

But, what happens after the baby birds leave the nest? Most baby birds actually fledge before they are able to fly, and their parents continue to feed them and care for them (sound familiar?) until they finally become independent. Ah... empty nest syndrome--it has a name; everything has a name. I am presently in this transition in life.

When our kids are young we literally can't wait until they walk; we hold them upright in fear that they may fall behind the normal development schedule. Once they walk, we miss the helpless infant stage and oftentimes wish they'd simply sit down for a minute or two. Then we decide it is time they talk. Soon we wish they would just shut up. We teach them to brush their teeth and tie their shoes. Then we become discouraged because we are late for some event and have to wait because they want to get ready by themselves. We take them to school and encourage them to try their best to widen their horizons. We encourage them to play a musical instrument and then wish our ears would fall off. We teach them to drive and become grey with worry when they get behind the wheel. We make them independent, and we want them to be productive--that is our final goal. Why then, as we approach success, do we have conflicting feelings? Are we never satisfied; can we never just sit back and enjoy the fruits of our labor? But let's face it, we really are proud that our baby can walk and talk and would never wish otherwise. We are glad our toddlers can handle their basic needs, even though they need us less. We are proud of our grown children's accomplishments and relieved that they can make it on their own, even though we are lonely without them. Now, we must make sure we can make it on our own!!

The problem is, children's lives involve parents. As your children participate in all their activities, you too tend to participate as a "band Dad" or a "soccer Mom." You complain about being way too busy, but you are hurt that no one came seeking your help for the latest school event. Let's face it, we are never satisfied, so why should empty nesting be any different?

But there is life after graduation! You can start exercising more. (Get in shape because someday there may be grandchildren to chase around!) Get a hobby! Take a class. Go through old pictures, search through old memories, organize! Collect coins, extend your garden, fix up your home. Travel. Learn how to enjoy peace and quiet! There's always Sudoku. Don't forget blogging! Oh, and don't worry, you'll never stop worrying --once a parent, always a parent...

PS: Ut oh! I found the nest again this year :(

Hope this is not a foreshadowing of things to come! Is it time to move?